托福独立写作的评分标准:
考生如何展开论点、组织文章结构,并运用语言表达自己的观点。
其中,展开论点就是用各种支持内容(包括事例、细节、理由等)来支持文章的观点。要得高分,就得按照评分指导的原则写作文——“很好地展开论点、运用恰当清晰的解释、例证和细节”。托福独立写作主体段落是文章论述的重点,从结构上来看,主体段的写作应该做到八个字:
有头有尾,有理有据。
基本模式:
Topic sentence+ Supporting information +Conclusion
主旨句 Topic sentence: broad enough to cover
支持内容 Supporting: structured reasons & examples
段落总结 Conclusion: omissible
今天我们来做这个汉堡的最后一层面包——
段落总结。
需要提前说明的是,一个段落的总结部分并不是一个必须的步骤,如果在时间紧张的情况下,我更加建议大家可以把自己更多的时间放在段落的支持内容上面,保证我们的每一个主体段落的中间部分都是比较充实的。
但是一个段落的总结部分的确也可以起到画龙点睛的作用,段落的总结主要可以达到两个目的,一个是对本段内容来进行总结[
本质上就是对我们的分论点来进行转述重申],另一个是基于我们段落讨论的内容来进行引申[
也就是把我们的观点内容再往深层次推一步],是我们的段落层次能够更加丰富。接下来我们会从这两个方面来分别说明如果写好一个主体段落的总结部分。
1. 托福写作观点总结
在进行完了段落的论证部分之后,我们最常用也最简单的一种做段落结尾的方式就是对我们的话题观点来进行段落转述重申,通过进一步转述我们的段落观点来强调我们的段落观点以及进一步表达我们对于文章的态度的支持。
话题:
In their free time, many young people (ages 14-18) regularly take part in activities such as music lessons, dance classes, or competitive sports. Some young people participate in several different activities, dividing their free time among the various things they like to do. Others choose to spend most of their free time focusing on only one activity that is very important to them. In your view, which approach is better, and why?
主旨句:
Initially, getting involved in more activities can be conducive to the all-round development of students.
因果解释:
It is self-evident that different activities can equip participants with various skills and abilities.
细节论证:
To illustrate,
1) students attending musical classes can learn how to appreciate the classical works of famous musicians and thus improve their aesthetic capability.
2) Similarly, participating in team sports will help students cultivate a sense of cooperation as well as enhance their leadership.
总结:
After having obtained the above skills, students definitely can develop in an all-round way.
在有限的时间内,我们可以直接结合我们的段落中间展开的支持细节然后总结回到我们这个段落想讨论的核心观点all-round development。
2. 托福写作观点引申
所谓观点引申,就是
对我们段落的观点来进行下一步的拓展,我们在上节课说过,
一个比较流畅的段落结构可以是从抽象信息到具体信息一步步来展开。
从段落层次上来讲,我们的观点可以是一个总结/结论性的信息,然后段落展开的信息就是通过一些非常具体的信息[有可能是一些道理、数据、例证]来支持我们的结论性的观点。但是如果我们能够在结尾段对我们的结论性观点再进一步往后引申的话,就能够使我们的段落再多加一个层次,我们还是就上一个段落来进行说明。
话题:
In their free time, many young people (ages 14-18) regularly take part in activities such as music lessons, dance classes, or competitive sports. Some young people participate in several different activities, dividing their free time among the various things they like to do. Others choose to spend most of their free time focusing on only one activity that is very important to them. In your view, which approach is better, and why?
主旨句:
Initially, getting involved in more activities can be conducive to the all-round development of students.
因果解释:
It is self-evident that different activities can equip participants with various skills and abilities.
细节论证:
To illustrate,
1) students attending musical classes can learn how to appreciate the classical works of famous musicians and thus improve their aesthetic capability.
2) Similarly, participating in team sports will help students cultivate a sense of cooperation as well as enhance their leadership.
总结:
All the above skills we learned through different activities will provide us with greater competition when applying for university.
或者 The all-round development we obtained from different activities will benefit us a lot in our future careers.
在这个结尾部分,我们并不是只是将我们的细节总结成all-round development,而是在尝试在进一步说明学生获得了all-round development之后能够带来的具体好处,比如能够在我们未来申请大学的时候更加有优势,能够让我们获得更好的职业发展,这些都是我们对于all-round development对于14-18岁孩子未来阶段的具体好处的表现。
我们今后在写段落结尾的时候,同样也可以稍微判断一下能够结合题目讨论的主题来对我们的观点做进一步的引申。下面同样给大家列举简单的观点引申的角度。
?观点1:
Taking care of younger brothers or sisters will help us to develop different living skill;
结尾句引申:
All those skills will provide us with a better life quality when living independently in the future.
?观点2:
People will cultivate skills like leadership or communicating skills when working in groups.
结尾句引申:
The integrated abilities people learn from group work will help boost their career.
本文作者
TD福利 & 领取方式
本次,Max老师还为同学们准备了
独立写作段落展开的经典范例。
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